The other day I wrote a blog about brain-based transformation and how when clients work with me, we go into your brain, and re-wire it’s default thinking from patterns that are not serving you well into patterns that will serve your future self well. When we want to make changes in our lives, we look at changing our behaviors and our thoughts. If you want long-lasting transformation in your life, you have to target your thoughts and transform them. Because our thoughts are the command center for how we operate, how we interpret the world, and the stories we have about ourselves. It is not events that lead to our emotions, its our thoughts.
For example, the other day I was driving and passed a school. The school is neutral. It triggered me to start thinking about the next year or two, buying another house and moving, deciding on where we want to live based on where we want our daughter to go to school, and how much money we need to save to do all of this. I started feeling tension and tightness in my jaw, which is where I carry my stress these days. Passing a school didn’t stress me out, it was the thoughts that accompanied that event. I recognized the tension in my jaw, brought my thoughts back to the present moment, and reassured myself (and brain) we have time, everything is okay, did some deep breathing, and focused on the road. This lowered my stress response.
Our thoughts are powerful. Thoughts lead to emotions which lead to our actions and results (or lack thereof).
And our brains lie to us all the time.
In psychology there are certain thought patterns that are known as cognitive distortions – or faulty thinking patterns - that lead to depression and anxiety. There are generally 11 distortions and 5 fallacies. I am going to cover 5 in this blog today.
Our brain is naturally wired to think negatively because its sole job is to protect us. We are also really good at what we practice. So when we practice certain thought patterns over and over, they became automated and efficient. Our brain wants efficiency. For example, if I got on a bike and started riding, it would take very little energy output from my brain to do this. It’s automatic because I’ve mastered this skill. But if I got on a unicycle, that would take a tremendous amount of brain power because it’s something new. Our brain does the same thing with thoughts and interpretations of the world.
What’s interesting to me is, I see these thought patterns as advantageous to the practice of law and legal strategy. So, over time, what is an asset to the “lawyer brain” eventually becomes one of the many reasons lawyers are stressed, and report high levels of anxiety and depression. Because you practice them in your work all day long, these become your default thinking patterns pervasively across life.
For example, have you ever found yourself cross-examining your spouse in a conflict, or setting up a line of questioning in an argument to get them to agree with your end point? I’ve certainly found myself on the receiving end of that with my dad and with my husband (not fun!) and I’ve talked with other lawyers who notice they do the same thing. These thought patterns just start to permeate all areas of life.
So, lets’ jump in and talk about the distortions:
This is where you see things in all or nothing terms. “I was perfect or I failed.” “I won or lost the case.” Now, in terms of legal strategy some times you are looking for the areas of gray and interpreting the law to fit your argument, but the final results of I won or lost are an example of black and white thinking.
This is where we apply one instance or example and generalize it to an overall pattern. We hear the word always and never a lot with this distortion. In terms of law, I think of researching past case examples and case law, then wanting to apply it generally to the circumstances of your case as an example of this thought pattern in legal strategy. Or if you lose a case in front of a certain judge one time, then you start thinking “I’m never going to win in his/her court. Or they are always for the plaintiff.” the next time you have a case in that court would be an example of overgeneralization.
This is where we have a funnel and in general life, we allow the negative pieces of information to get through and funnel keep the positive ones out. If you picture funnel going into a glass of water and negative thoughts being black drops of ink, the water becomes dark and cloudy. Your world becomes clouded by the negative thoughts. The mental filter is the biggest reason why people adopt a pessimistic mindset. In law, I can see that you want to filter out any evidence, facts or augments that don’t support your case – or in your counterstrategy you want to do the same thing – filter out any evidence that doesn’t support your argument.
This is where in regular life we are putting on our superhero cape and we have the magical power of mind reading. We believe we KNOW what others are thinking about us (and it’s usually negative). In law and legal strategy, you HAVE to do some mind reading and believe you know what arguments or angles the other attorney is going to take in a case in order to prepare your strategy.
I also lump worst case scenario or catastrophizing in with this. This is when we have our crystal ball and are doing our best Miss Cleo (anyone else remember Miss Cleo?) impersonation and we KNOW what is going to happen in the future. Again, we usually believe negative things will happen. It gives some people a false sense of control to think about all the scenarios and come up with how they will handle them all. Develop hypothetical plans of action.
Now, in law, you HAVE to start working through possible scenarios and outcomes as part of your legal strategy. You have to be thinking 6 steps ahead and making plans, and contingency plans. If they argue this, then we will argue that. etc. In life, this thinking pattern generally leads to a lot of anxiety because we are spending a lot of time in the future (which creates uncertainty and anxiety). In law, you are preparing your work to prevent the worst case scenario. Even if it is NOT in an actual case or argument, but for example, you are drawing up a contract for someone, you have to think about all those worst case scenarios to protect the client from liability. Your brain gets very skilled at thinking of all the scenarios and developing plans of action for each. Again, advantageous in law, maybe not so advantageous in life.
And some of these distortions that are helpful in law, could be causing you to overthink, which leads to paralysis or inefficiency in your work.
So, this is an introduction to our faulty thinking patterns and how I see them being beneficial and necessary in legal strategy and your lawyer brain, but not so helpful in the rest of life – and quite frankly, they may also be impacting your overall wellbeing and therefore your legal practice.
The good news is we can work with your brain and your thoughts to rewire these – or at least help it differentiate between when it’s helpful in legal strategy and when it needs to shut the legal strategy off. Start to pay attention to your thoughts and see if you notice any of these patterns coming up.
Let me know if this resonates with you and your lawyer brain. Check back later this week for information on more of the distortions!